Thinking back on things.....

"Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption." - Frank Sinatra



Ive made mistakes in the past. Done things without thinking them through. But I have also done things with thinking them through, thinking that they were the best option at that time. and after all that is said and done, you know you were wrong. How do you go and fix that mistake? Or can you? can you go back to before you made that mistake? I dont really think you can. You can only build from what has happened in the past and move forward.

I say this not because I am lonely or sad, but because I miss what I have had and I want it back. For reasons only I know, I made the hard decision to break up with a wonderful, caring and beautiful lady. and ever since that day, I have had not one day go past that I have not thought about her. I think about her smile, her beautiful captivating eyes. The smell of her as she moves past you. I want that back, but I dont know if I will ever get back. I talk to her, not on the phone but on-line, for I cant even get myself to call her. I'm just weird like that. I just dont know what to do. I can go on with my life as if nothing has happened. I have done it before. but this is different. I just can not put into words or even fathom what is really going on. So i leave with the rest of the song...

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, Ill say it clear,
Ill state my case, of which Im certain.

Ive lived a life thats full.
Ive traveled each and evry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

Ive loved, Ive laughed and cried.
Ive had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!