Spending my Life Away

Now that I have had a couple cups of coffee to wake me up, I decided that I would bare my soul in this entry about the events that lead up to this morning. What Happened this morning? My bankruptcy case was reviewed and approved. I am 29 years old and I filed for bankruptcy.


I graduated college in 2000 and after a month of looking for a job, I found one. I was a computer purchaser for the same college that I graduated from. I still lived at home, commuted to work, and had several student loans to pay off. I just started my first job out of college and making money that I had never seen before. The money I was making was enough to pay more than the minimum on my student loans, while paying for my cell phone and car insurance. Mind you I was living at home so I didn't have to pay rent. From a financial stand point I had a lot of disposable income.


I have always liked jewelry since I was a kid. I'm a guy but I still like things that shine. At the same time I started my job, hip hop / rap music, was promoting the "bling bling" theme to their lyrics. If these guys can have "bling bling" so can I. One day I was walking with my ex gf / one of my best friends now, through the mall. I stopped inside a Kevin Jewelers to have a look around. I had not intention of buying anything just window shopping. Then this cross struck my eye. It was a beautiful piece to behold. The sales people gave me a good price, knocked off the tax and added "their special discounts." I chose this cross and the chain it was on. I figured that I can make payments on this item and pay it off in no time. So, that's $4000 I just added to my debt. I loved this piece. I'd wear it all the time and I would actually get compliments on it. I didn't feel rich or anything, I was just happy that I bought this item.

Then on another visit to the mall with the same girl that was with me when I got the cross, we stopped by again. This time the sales people kind of remember me and they showed me other items as well. What is a cross without a ring right? Well without much persuasion I left the mall that day with a ring similar to this one. Cool, I just added $2500 more to my "jewelry" debt. No problem I said to myself. I can pay this off. I have a job and making good money! No problem!

A month or so later, cruising the mall with said friend, (maybe my friend is to blame!! haha j/k) we stop by the same Kevin Jewelers. This time the sales people know me by name. Hell I think I just paid for their kids tuition. They show me this bracelet that just came in that matches the same setting that was on my cross and ring. This time I had the mind set to say "not right now, maybe next time." My friend and I went and ate at the food court. While eating I was contemplating the bracelet. See, they let me try it on and I got a glimpse of what it would look like on me. I asked said friend what she thought. She said, "It looks good on you." Hell, thats all the motivation I needed. After eating, we went back to the store and I went ahead and purchased the bracelet. (sorry no pics of this but just think of a tennis bracelet but bigger and longer for guys). So after adding another $4000 to my debt I went home happy.

Times got a little shaky when I had to pay for the student loans and the jewelry payments every month. I could still pay more than the said amount my student loans but not on my jewelry. Once I did some configuring, I had little money left over for spending cash. I got caught it in this "bling bling" hype that on several occasions, I visited Kevin Jewelers and purchased more items. I purchased some earings, traded in my ring for another "bigger" ring, purchased 2 more diamond pendants, a watch, a bracelet for a friend, a dolphin pendant for a friend, and a bracelet for my mom. I am not sure about the grand total, but I'll just say that it was enough to put me over the top. I hate Kevin Jewelers!! haha but I bet they loved me!

It was time to ask for help. In my family, there is one parent who will say yes to everything and another one that you are just plain scared off because they are strict and you do not want to evoke the wrath of said parent. My dad is the say yes type, or the sure you can do that type. My mom on the other hand is the one to be scared of. I think it is that strict Chinese side of her. Any way, if I were to ask for help, I would have to go through her. I picked a good day to talk to her about it. I told her that I need help paying my bills, that I am $9000 in the hole (this was actually less than what I needed). After much yelling and lecturing she said she would help and she wrote me a check for the $9000. The next day I deposited the check and paid off a majority of the loans. However, once you have that spending bug, you unfortunately can not stop. Or so I thought.

A couple years later (2005-2006) I have been jewelry free and still paying my loans. During this time, I got so desperate for money that I had the said friend help me pawn off the jewelry I had worked so hard to purchase. She got me about 10-15% of the price that I had paid for the jewelry. Hell, any money right now would be helpful. Once I had the money, I put majority of it in my checking account. I should have put all of it in there, but when you see an envelope full of money, you have to spend it. To this day I don't know what I spent it on. Some thing trivial that lost its value after a few days and placed on my shelf never to be used again.

After being 60% out of debt, the gadget side of me took over. I moved from buying jewelry to buying unlocked cell phones. If anyone knows about unlocked cell phones it is the fact that they are expensive. Since they are not associated with any carrier, prices for these phones can start at the low $800s. The first real unlocked phone that I purchased with my newly created spending cash, was the Motorola Razr. I paid $700 + for this phone. Why so much? Because it was unlocked and it wasn't available in the US at the time. At the time, I would only use my debit card, so whatever money I had was the money I spent. Then came the Discover card, which was supposed to be used for emergencies only. I would use that card to help me purchase new phones. I would purchase phones every three weeks or as often as they were released. I used my discover card for those purchases. Then, I signed up for PayPal and found out that they gave me a line of credit. Good I thought. Another way to spend money. I used the PayPal and the Discover card up to its max. Then on tigerdirect.com, they have the ability to "billmelater" which is a line of credit. I used that to its max. So after being down to about 40% in debt after the help of my mom, the rise in cell phone purchases bumped my debt back up to about 80% of my income. Again, I needed help but I didn't ask my mom this time.

I decided that I would stop spending money and focus on paying of this debt that kept rising because of the interest rates. At the time, I was still at my college job, moved into an apt, and still paying off my debt. Now I had to worry about credit card debt, rent, utilities and every month expenses. But did that stop me from spending? Nope. Somehow, I found the way to get money and spend it on things I didn't need. I bought furniture for my room in the apt, an XBOX 360, guitar hero for my PS2, a DS lite, DVDs, and of course more cell phones. I just had enough spending cash, after paying my bills, to buy food for lunch and dinner. I was fine or so I thought. Sure I was only paying the minimum on some bills but I was getting by. Then that pervervial rock bottom found its way into my life.

Then Nov 2006 right before the Thanksgiving holiday here in the States, I was served my last paycheck and told to clean out my office. There were issues at work where they, suits, couldn't trust me any more and some job title changes were going into effect. Right before Thanksgiving, I lost my job. Nothing could have been done. I had no money coming in, and the way I was spending cash, I had no savings. I applied for unemployment but was denied. I was looking for jobs, but at the time, no one was hiring especially during the holiday season and the new year. I spent 3 1/2 months without a job. There was no way I could pay off my debt now. In Feb, still looking for a job, my dad suggested that I file for bankruptcy. What else could I do? We both went to a bankruptcy lawyer and paid for his help. We filed in Feb and I finally found a job in March.

The new job doesn't pay as much as my old job but at least there was money to be made. I am still at the new job and today my hearing for the bankruptcy was put through. All those creditors who were calling me every day have stopped. I don't owe anyone any money. I recently sat my butt down and finally made a budget for my monthly expenses and my savings. I have 2 savings accounts now. I look back at all the times I have spent money, on things that I don't use anymore. How could I have been so foolish? But thanks to the support of my parents and family, I have finally learned that saving money is a good thing and spending money on useless things is a trap that I do not want to fall into again. I pledge to whoever reads this and to myself, that from today on, the money I spend will be for things that need to be spent on, and that I will save more than I spend. The real American dream is to live life without having to worry about debt. I hope I can do this without disappointing anyone else again.